it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize