just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
