Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
