Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
