I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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