i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You dont lie about slip and slides
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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