Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
