I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize