About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize