I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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