the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
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guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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