they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I stole a fireplace last night.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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