rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
