all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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