Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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