Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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