hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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