Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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