Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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