dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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