she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
