do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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