I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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