I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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