I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
