I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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