I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
