i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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