Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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