Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
