can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.