After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature