I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
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If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.