We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
How's work?
Spinning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
