Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
