OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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