Don't you send me to vm
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
