Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
