oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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