I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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