I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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