she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
