Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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