I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
