that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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