I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
