The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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