pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
