Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
