oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
