Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
