He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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