your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
