My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
