if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We named our party play list daddy issues
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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