And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
