I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
